Wednesday, 23 September 2015


I recently re watched the 1991 movie MY GIRL starring Dan Aykroyd, Jamie Lee Curtis
Macaulay Culkin, Anna Chulmsky among others.
Basically the story of an 11 year old girl called Vada and her best friend Thomas J.
Vada lived in a funeral home with her single dad and was struggling to figure out life as a little girl living in a funeral parlor. She already felt out of place being raised by single dad, so the funeral parlor did not help at all. Things became even more complex after the dad decided to remarry.
She has a best friend Thomas J who accepted her as she was and was a real source of encouragement for her.
I didn’t realize the impact that movie had in my life until I re-watched it. I probably watched it in my early teens and it was an exciting time because it was those rare opportunities my mum invested in a movie for us to watch instead of books. And of course she always watched the movie with us.
I related to Vada a lot in terms of how I grew up and how I felt. Didn’t really feel like I fit in anywhere. I was sort of a tom boy. I didn’t have a best friend but generally hanging out with boys and getting cars as toys was more appealing to me growing up than having dolls.
I enjoyed the times I hanged out with my dad, they were precious because he was rarely there because of the nature of his job. So when he fixed the VCR I was his assistant, when he was assembling our bikes I watched and tried to remember. I treasured the moments he was around.
Like Vada I also loved to read books and write novels as well. I was very determined to have a book published before I was 18 [didn’t happen] but writing became a great outlet for me to write how I felt. That’s one of the reasons I started the blog as well, to have an outlet of my thoughts and ideas. Of course my diary has more juicy stuff.
I also loved riding my bike, I didn’t go too far, my mum gave us a general restricted area where we could go with our bikes.
I also had my crushes growing up, they were always a secret because I felt nobody would ever like me in that way. I felt very misunderstood. I don’t know if it’s something all girls go through but I did. In the process I withdrew and kept to myself a lot. Barely had any friends I guess I actually didn’t know how. I do know that I was afraid of being hurt so that could be a reason that kept me from making friendships when I was younger. Now I am truly blessed with great friends.
Vada didn’t have a mum growing up and she always felt lost. Re watching this movie helped me appreciate my mum’s presence in my life. She was very extraordinary and when I talk about her to people it confirms it even more. Because of her I learnt to appreciate the small stuff even the things she taught us by force for our own good. I’m sure my siblings will agree with me.
As a grown woman I have realized a lot of the values I hold is because of her. I respect people of all backgrounds, I try to treat people fairly. I learnt to negotiate. I learnt to fight for my rights. I learnt to speak up and express how I feel. I learnt to love passionately. Indirectly and directly my mum had a huge influence in my life.
As much as there are girls out there like Vada who never met their mum’s, even losing my mum in my early 20’s still makes me feel lost at times, but I appreciate all she taught me and the few years she impacted my life.

Ephesians 6: 1-4
Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

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