Wednesday, 30 March 2016


[PART 2]


As I conclude on Being a Ruth this week I would like to clarify one thing. These virtues are a growing process. One is not born with these qualities they develop over time.
Sometimes even through a traumatic experience. I wrote about a difficult experience in The THING ABOUT PAIN
Dealing with that heart break made me realize that you cannot always prepare yourself for it or avoid it, sometimes it’s necessary to go through it and learn from it. It is always tempting to be bitter but it is you who suffers.
As I noted in part 1 of this post these are lessons from the Book LADY IN WAITING by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones.
Ok here we go again
There is a quote in this book that really stood out to me. A woman who marries still a virgin has become the exception not the rule.
It’s one of those statements that can go around having blame games from, daddy/mummy issues to society to women’s liberation or that boys will be boys.
There are many reasons why it has happened and the blame can go around but the truth is what do you do about it as an individual with your own personal purity. We tend to point the figure at someone you may feel is worse off than you are but there is more to purity than being a virgin. It starts from our thoughts, then our words then our actions. They all matter.
For now I will look at sexual purity and maybe write a purity article one of these days J
What I personally believe is there is a reason sex was created for marriage. There is just a connection that it is supposed to bring for husband and wife and when it goes in the wrong context it doesn’t bring the intimacy as God intended.

I want more than just the physical thrill, I want commitment and security in the relationship, where I will be cherished and treasured. Marriage is more than about sex anyways.
On the other side the emotional devastation is not worth it to just casually engage in sex. It takes out a part of you that you may never get back and brews resentment. It ruins more than it fixes and has a lot of baggage. People who have had to recover from this can testify.
So guard your heart, guard your purity and make prior decisions on what you want in a relationship.
As for those who seek a second chance do not allow the flickering pleasures of an evening of ‘making love’ destroy a lifetime of ‘lasting love’.
Forgive yourself
With the way the world is going security is a major concern in almost all areas of our lives.
Feeling insecure has become almost second nature to some extent.
However feeling insecure is way worse because that is a battle within. You reduce your self-worth and believe that you do not deserve better. It can cause you to be demanding and unrealistic and you become worried and frustrated.
Don’t make a ‘life mate’ choice from a limited perspective because you longed for security of a relationship. God can and will give you His best if you wait for it.
In the end it is only God Who can meet your need for security. Let’s face it the other person is just as insecure as you are.
I used to think this was not possible. Being content. It actually is. I realized that the things that used to really bother me don’t as much anymore. I wasted so much time fantasizing on what I could have or what I could want that life was passing me by. I looked back and saw how unhappy I was and was wondering if I was going to continue living my life with what – if’s?
I encourage you to do that once in a while. Look back and review yourself and how you live. It may amaze you.
Waiting is one of the hardest things for me especially if I have no clue why I am waiting, this is mainly because of my planning – every – thing nature.
The book has some interesting point of view on this topic and I encourage you to read it. Summarizing it here will just take away from it.
But one part I can quote is that accountability is key especially in this area.
We need to monitor and discipline our fantasies and have friends who remind us not to run ahead of God’s timing
Learning contentment is only achieved by complete surrender to Christ.
Anyone who knows me knows I have strong convictions. When I make a decision,that is it.
It is not a decision I necessarily come by with ease, I way a lot of options and I consider consequences. Very rarely do I change my mind.
It may mean I am head strong to some people, but when I am convinced of something that is it. Only God can change my mind.
God’s Word is my source of conviction, it is what I live by. And I have found it to be applicable in my life. Choices guided by conviction rather than chance determine destiny.
Conviction is allowing God to renew your mind on a daily basis. Conviction is a standard that serves as a spring board for your choices.
Living by conviction helps one make better decisions because our decisions make our destiny.
I am convinced that this is that lesson that haunts me and morphs into different forms to ensure that I get it and need to be patient.
I will not lie it is not always the case, sometimes when I am patient I am glad I was and everything worked out, but when I am not….. Oh! The mess
People who say ‘Patience Is a Virtue’ should complete the sentence with ‘that is hard to find/ hard to master’
There are too many consequences of impatience and waiting on God’s best seems like it will take forever.
Sometimes the wait is not about you, it could be about something connected to you.
Don’t let impatience rob you of your life. You are in that space for a reason. God knows what is best and his timing is perfect and He wants to bless you to the full.


  1. I love that we see life alike, I have a teen program and I will be using Lady in Waiting to being it forth it is important, thanks for sharing. I will share with the world.

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I have been inactive for quite some time but plan on reviving the blog in January 2017. Keep me posted in how it goes with the teen program and God bless you for reaching out to the younger generation. Thank you for sharing :)