WAITING AND WRESTLING

WAITING AND WRESTLING

When I was a child I was very excited about my future. I spent a lot of time dreaming about it and wondering what it would be like. Like this picture the future seems interesting and enticing, all you see are the stairs that lead you to the top, you forget to notice what the stairs are made of and its rough edges, the hanging trees and branches on the way, the crooked fence and many other things. All that actually make the future more interesting and memorable. You never imagine there will be bumps on the road to the future, you usually expect smooth sailing and life as you planned it.You don’t imagine waiting is part of the journey.

During this year I have discovered that waiting redefines itself even after I finally get peace with one area of waiting it changes on me and pushes me further and in a brand new direction. So because I cannot figure things out any more.

Then when I feel I can’t stand it any longer, I get into the wrestling phase, my wrestling similar to what Jacob in Genesis 33 went through when he was about to face Esau his brother whom he had wronged

I really get into “I will not let go till you bless me” mode and I will go through my many logics in my head. Have many sleepless nights. Be very unreasonable, then after a bit of crying [though at times it’s more like wailing] I calm down and sleep.

That’s when I my mind quiets down and then I start to thirst.

I start to hunger

For God’s Word, I frantically look for a Word that would minister to me. Something that would speak to my situation. This time I let God lead me,

I remember what He has done, what He has brought me through in the past, what Word He led me to then. I start to meditate on the truth and not focus on the lies, fears and doubts.

I quiet down my doubts, my anger, restless thoughts and take a deep breath and repent.

 I will be honest, I don’t get the answers just because I have calmed down, I just realize that I am not alone and I have not been forsaken. The world is not going to end because things did not go as I had expected.

The truth is I still hate to wait in any level. Either way I can say I have grown as a believer, I can’t believe some of the things I can tell people and they draw a lot of inspiration they draw from it. I am usually like, “I sound so wise.” The truth is I have been through a lot and I know better. I also know encouraging people is better than moping with them. And also things usually do get better and no situation lasts forever.

The thing about praying for something for so long and it finally happens is that it actually surprises you. You actually forget that you’ve been waiting for it the joy of the answered prayer consumes you.

So people I encourage you, continue to trust that things will get better.

Remember what God has done in the past and He will get you through this rough patch as well, just hold on to Him.

It is ok to cry and be angry at the situation, BUT don’t dwell there. Get through it and find your hope in the Lord.

Here are some scriptures I love to meditate on during those times. I hope it will be a source of encouragement to you

Proverbs3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 41:10

¹⁰ Fear not, for I Am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I Am your God.
I will strengthen you
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous Right Hand.’

Romans 8:38-39

³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Hebrews 13:5-6

⁵ Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said,

“I will never fail you.
    I will never abandon you.”

⁶ So we can say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper,
    so I will have no fear.
    What can mere people do to me?”

1 John 4:16

¹⁶ We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.

1 John 4:18

¹⁸ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.