HACKING MARRIAGE

HACKING MARRIAGE

Story of my life

I had started this article and then my computer program had to be changed and I lost all the witty comments I made and I was already half way through.

Annoying as it is, I have to start over anyways and make the best of the situation, even though technology is supposed to make life easier, I really doubt that at times. Good ol’ pen and paper can still do the job

Anyways back to my article.

I read this book called marriage hacks

It’s a free book so if you go to the author’s site you can down load the e book

http://www.tylerwardis.com/marriagehacks/

I found it quite refreshing with a totally different view on marriage advice and how it is usually given

They are a collection of well know authors with advice on marriage

I decided to share some quotes from each, that stood out for me and I recommend this book to other singles as well as married people as well.

Hope it will entice you to read the book. It’s a pretty small book and an easy read.

Here we go [again]

1.    And though the object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love, it is a fact that when we receive love, we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires. GARY CHAPMAN

2.    Kissing forces us to drown out distractions around us. We had to consciously tune everything else out and focus solely on each other – something we can all agree we need more of. RYAN FREDERICK

3.    Yes, there were times in those years—too many times—when I wrestled with that choice and how to play it out. I even considered going back on that choice on a few occasions. But each time, I returned to the words I had spoken. I now know that I will always do so, no matter what. DANNY SILK

4.    It turns out, the couples who make it all the way to side-by-side cemetery plots share a few similarities beyond “they don’t have sex with other people” (although that’s certainly a solid start).JENNA MCCARTHY

5.    Although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow. TYLER WARD

1.    Let her know that if she lets herself go in your hands, you’ll make her momentarily forget everything bad going on in her life and feel everything good GARY THOMAS

2.    Marriage gives two people the difficult but incredible opportunity to be completely naked in front of each other—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The problem is, most of us have parts of our lives we’re terrified of anyone seeing. But if full exposure isn’t allowed, if we’re not able to reveal everything about ourselves (good, bad and ugly) within the covenant of marriage, true intimacy can never happen. CHRISTA BLACK

3.    Marriage—as a matrix—exists to serve you and your spouse. And for it to serve you well, it’s best practices and proposed mindsets must be authentic expressions of who you uniquely are—and they must change as you change. WILLIAM PAUL YOUNG

4.    “Chance, you want a guarantee? I’ll guarantee you this. 100% of the time that marriages get in trouble, it starts with people saying to themselves: ‘My needs aren’t being met. She’s overlooking me. He’s not doing enough. I deserve better.’ Once you start looking at things in terms of what you are or aren’t getting, you’re on a dangerous road. CHANCE SCOGGINS

5.    We all need little things to look forward to in life—small interruptions to our normal flow. Not because we have to escape from our lives, but so we can appreciate them. Because without the gift of looking forward, even the most wonderful relationships can grow stale. JEFF GOINS

1.    Whether we’re four years in or twenty, or haven’t started yet at all, let’s remind ourselves: love is not a place we arrive. Marriage is not a thing we achieve and then spend the rest of our lives maintaining. Love is a journey marked by mystery and the continual intention to learn one another. JONATHAN JACKSON

2.    Owning fewer possessions means less cleaning, less organizing, less repairing, and less financial burden. It brings freedom, clarity, and opportunity. Intentionally owning less frees time, energy, and space—resources that could be spent pursuing our greatest passions  JOSHUA BECKER

3.    . If there is anything that I have learned in my 15 years of marriage, it is that nothing stays the same forever. You may have a spouse that feels loved and filled by gifts for the first five years of your marriage, and then suddenly, in year six... all they want to do is snuggle. Go with the flow. CARLOS WHITAKER

4.    You cannot keep secrets compartmentalized inside your heart, away from life and relation- ships. They will pollute even those things that are true and right and beautiful, staining them with their own darkness, until one can no longer distinguish between the ‘real’ and the ‘presented.’ We cannot choose to live in deception and be led by the Spirit of Truth at the same time. BARRY AND LORI BYRNE

5.    Building your dream marriage isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely worth it. DUSTIN RIECHMANN

1.    Don’t get married because you think he or she is “the one.” Trust me, they’re not. There’s no such thing! But do get married when you see who God is making somebody to be, and it lights you up. When you want to be a part of that story of transformation, that journey to the future. When you are well aware it will be a long and bumpy ride, but you don’t want to miss one mile. JOHN MARK COMER

2.    There are a lot of ways to get to four. The only one who will do exactly what you would do in 100% of the situations you are confronted with in life….is you! And, if your spouse does everything exactly as you do and has the same opinion as you on every issue, then one of you is unnecessary! KAREN EHMAN

3.    It’s possible to have a successful career, travel the world and stay faithful to your wife. Crazy concept, I know, but it’s pretty amazing. Our culture tends to celebrate sleeping around and showcase men as “strong” and “tough” if they get a lot of women. I think it’s the complete opposite. Staying faithful to your wife as a man is strong and tough. Cheating on your spouse is weak. Amen JEREMY COWART

4.    If-bombs place people in competitive postures against one another. And since the DNA of competition requires that there be a winner and a loser, as a couple that translates into “me versus you—one or both of us loses.” PAUL EDWARD RALPH

5.    . But good girls do want sex! God gave us sex drives, too. And inside marriage, sex is supposed to be a wonderful thing for both of you!

When you’re active, it shows him, “I want to do this.” If you lie there on your back and don’t do much, he may think, “She’s just doing this for me.” Show him you are interested, and you do want this to happen—by making it happen! SHELIA WRAY GREGOIRE

1.    It’s been shown that the simple act of holding hands can reduce stress. Also, simply touching each other has been shown to communicate emotions of gratitude, trust, and love. RYAN BOWER

2.    If marriage is about becoming the right person, then it all begins at ground zero. It be- gins with an honest assessment, an unconditional acceptance, and a desire to be better than where we are at this moment. It’s also the realization we cannot become the right person alone KRIS WOLFE

3.    Love is the fuel that makes relationships work. Loving someone more than they love you is not stupid or crazy or foolish. It’s the bravest thing you can do in this life NATE BAGLEY

4.    when the marital grass starts looking greener on the other side of the fence, there are some things you can do (rather than glaring over the fence, day after day, wishing for greener grass) that might actually be productive RACHEL WOJNAROWSKI

5.    The day of marriage is not the end of the story, but the beginning. It brings into creation a brand new infant couple, pledging to learn the art of marrying their individual lives into one combined, married, maturing life together JARED BLACK

There you go.

I hope I have enticed you enough

Please go ahead and read the book itself

I will end with this quote also in the same book [and a verse of course]

For the wedding cake is rich and fresh, but the taste of true love lives in the leftovers

Genesis 2:24 New Living Translation
This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

Matthew 19:5 New Living Translation
And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.'